VJ-Yes' Area

kebo badNews

Hey, guys g ada kabar buruk. Im broken up with lozu 2 days ago. Gak tau g musti mulai cerita drmana. Intinya g ma dia gak berantemn sama sekali, we’re doing just fine, even all my friends said dat we’re so romantic en all of dat. But actually 2 weeks ago, he said dat his stress out about sumthing dat bcoz of his own problem, not me. I kept trying to spirited him in everyway, in academic or even when we’re together. I tried my best to make him forget about his stress, I thought dat laugh will cure him slowly.

But lately I found dat i wrong. I cant no longer pretending dat everything is okay, im worried about him a lot. Then I tried to make him told me about all his problem, in dis stupid brain I thought dat communication is everything dat we needed.
Then im wrong again, I wish I never tried to know anything..coz it hurt me more then anything.

He said dat he want more then our relationship, he wants relationship like “mature” people does. Oh my God, u all knew dat I really hate dat “thing”!!!! he said dat nothing wrong wit me, im too good to him. He said dat when he met me, he thought dat I m the girl dat could bring him to the right way. But his wrong, he realize dat he cant change himself anymore, en he not worth enough for me. Im too good en he doesn’t want to ruin me. He said dat he still very love me dats why he stress out, he knew dat when I know his problem I would leave him. But lately he found dat he certain love me, so he tried to think about my feeling. He scared dat it would be very cruel, if he kept his problem en getting it for someone else. En it would be hurt me again, if this relationship kept going cos both of us knowing dat we love each other. But my love is not like dat.

Dat why I kept my throat, en courage myself to call him. I told him dat we all knews the fact. En we know dat there are rules in ur relationship! No, its my rules! En he know me well, dat why I said ur idealism is no longer the same.. then I broke up him.

U know wad, im very stress out now. Can u imagine, at dat same day I still love him dat much, en wait for him. But then he told me dat he cant come coz he don’t know how to act with me anymore.
Even we’re just 2 en a half month, but everyone can see dat his going too fast! We met everyday, really everyday, My parent is already like him much even egi, my close friend is already bcome his close frend too. Can u imagine??? We’re soo damn close!
Suddenly everything gone!

The fact is we broke up on Sunday, en the next day I must go to university ( to give my project)! I thought dat everything gonna be fine, I still got a lot of frend, my grades good, sun are still shine.
But again im wrong, its raining, even after sun really shine its still drak for me! U all knew me well, right?? Its very hard for me to cry, but dat day I try my best to kept my heads up, so my tears ‘cant be seen. When I met my best frend, I cant help it again! I cry..yea but just a moment, then I kept myself up. En dat hole day, I try very hard not to cry, my eyes en nose are red!! I just telling all dis wit my trusted friend, en cant even talk to my friend (even I know a lot of confuse en worried from their eyes).
I cant even concentrate wad my lectures said, I just forget how to laugh..
Yes, it hurt me so deeply. Coz it happen to suddenly at the time I still loving him dat much! i felt the same pain like when I dump with Nia..for the second time my heart is broke again. I prefer somehow we’ve fighting first, then broke up like this..
I don’t hate him at all, i know this would be a lot better then i continue loving without knowing his problem. En I know he very care for me, dats why he honest with me.
With sadness,
kebOo

posted by YF @ 3/31/2006 07:23:00 PM